In a Jiff Cornbread

A Joke

Q:  Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes? 

A:  Because they were too corny! 

Q:  What do you tell a vegetable after it graduates from College? 

A:  Corn' gratulations. 

Q: What does corn use for money?A: Cornbread.

The Recipe

x2 8.5oz Packages of Jiffy Mix Cornbread Mix

X2 Eggs

⅔ Cup whole Milk

x1 8oz Can Creamed Corn

x1 TBSP Lard, Shortening or Butter

Optional (Some, All or None)

x1 Cup Sharp Shredded Cheese

x2 to x3 TBSP Diced Fresh or Dried Jalapeno (How much kick do you like?)

½ Cup Crumbled Bacon

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

Preheat a 12” cast iron skillet over medium heat until it is nice and hot.

Mix the Jiffy Mix, Eggs and Milk together until they are just combined. Add the Can of Creamed Corn and any of the optional ingredients you have decided on. Mix together again. The batter will be lumpy and that’s okay.

 

Melt the Lard, Shortening or Butter and let the pan get nice and hot again.

Pour the batter into the cast iron skillet. The batter should start to sizzle and bubble around the edges. This is the first step to amazing cornbread! Continue to cook on the stove top for another 2 to 3 minutes.

Place the skillet in the oven and bake for 20 to 30 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Let rest for 10 minutes and enjoy!

Chinese Restaurant Sweet Rolls

A Joke

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. Shortly after we were seated, the elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places. Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.

"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."

The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."

The Recipe

Dough

1 packet active dry yeast

1 Tbsp honey

1 / 4 cup filtered water

1 cup heavy cream or whole milk

3 Tbsp canola oil

1 egg

4 1 / 4 cup all-purpose flour

1 / 2 kosher salt

3 Tbsp sugar

2 Tbsp baking powder

Glaze

1 egg

2 Tbsp sugar

1 Tbsp water

Combine honey and the filtered water. Microwave for 15 seconds (you are looking for it to be slightly warm.) Stir in the yeast and let rest till the yeast blooms.

Wisk to combine the oil, egg and milk. Stir in the yeast mixture.

In a separate large bowl combine flour, salt and sugar. Add the liquids and stir till a ball forms. Knead for 3-5 min. This is very soft dough and sticky dough. Restrain yourself from adding any extra flour. Place in an oiled bowl and let rise till it doubles. Give it about 2 hrs.

Sprinkle the baking powder over your work surface. Use it in place of flour. Remove the dough and knead in the baking powder. 3 min should do.

Line a 9-inch square pan with parchment paper. Form into 9 balls and place in the pan in 3 rows of 3. You want them to just touch. Let rise till double. Give it about 30 min.

Preheat your oven to 350.

Wisk together the egg, sugar and salt. Brush over the top of the dough right before it goes in the oven.

Bake for 25 min of until they are golden brown on top.

My Thoughts

The Chinese restaurant in the town I grew up in had the best dinner rolls. These are about as close to those as I have ever been able to duplicate. A soft roll that is subtly sweet and creamy. Make extra because they are even better warmed up the next day.