A Joke
F16 vs. C-130
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.
The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.
The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that?The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said: 'What did you think of that?'
Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'
The C-130 pilot chuckled. 'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll.'
VS.
A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but molasses ..."
The Recipe
The Dough – This dough is used for both
4 large egg yolks
1 large whole egg
1 / 4 cup sugar
6 tablespoons unsalted butter - melted
3 / 4 cup buttermilk
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 package instant dry yeast
1 1 / 4 tsp kosher salt
Canola oil or cooking spray
Whisk the egg yolks, whole egg, sugar, butter, and buttermilk. Add the flour along with the yeast and salt; mix to combine. Turn the dough out onto a floured work surface. Knead until smooth, soft dough forms. Lightly oil a large bowl. Move the dough to the bowl and roll to cover with oil. Cover and let double in volume, 2 to 2 1/2 hours.
Cinnamon Rolls
Filling
1 cup dark brown sugar
1 tbsp ground cinnamon
Pinch of kosher salt
1 1 / 2 tbsp unsalted butter
Frosting
1/4 cup cream cheese
3 tbsp milk
1 1 / 2 cups powdered sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
Combine the brown sugar, cinnamon and salt in a medium bowl. Mix until well combined and set aside.
Spray a six slot, giant muffin tin with non-stick spray.
Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface. Roll into an 18 by 12-inch rectangle. Brush the dough with the melted butter. Leaving 1/2-inch border along one of the short edges. Sprinkle the filling mixture over the dough, leaving a 3/4-inch border along the same edge. Gently press the filling into the dough. Beginning with the opposite end from the border, roll the dough into a tight cylinder. Firmly pinch the seam to seal and roll the cylinder seam side down. Very gently squeeze the cylinder to create even thickness.
Using a serrated knife, slice the cylinder into 6 equal rolls. Arrange rolls in the baking dish; cover tightly with plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator overnight.
Remove the rolls from the refrigerator and place in an oven that is turned off. Fill a shallow pan 2/3-full of boiling water and set on the rack below the rolls. Close the oven door and let the rolls rise until they look slightly puffy; approximately 30 minutes.
Remove the rolls and the shallow pan of water from the oven.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
When the oven is ready, place the rolls on the middle rack and bake until golden brown, Approximately 30 to 40 minutes.
While the rolls are cooling slightly, make the frosting by beating the cream cheese with a mixer until creamy. Add the milk and combine. Slowly add the powdered sugar, and beat until smooth.
Remove rolls to a plate and spread frosting over the rolls and serve immediately.
Maple Pecan Rolls
Filling
1 / 2 cup chopped pecans
1 / 2 cup dark brown sugar
2 tsp ground cinnamon
Pinch salt
1 1/2 tbsp unsalted butter
Syrup
1 cup maple syrup
8 tbsp unsalted butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1 / 2 cup chopped pecans
Combine the brown sugar, cinnamon, salt and pecans for the filling in a medium bowl. Mix until well incorporated. Set-aside.
Spay a 9” round baking dish with nonstick spray.
Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work surface. Roll into an 18 by 12-inch rectangle. Brush the dough with the melted butter. Leaving 1/2-inch border along one of the short edges. Sprinkle the filling mixture over the dough, leaving a 3/4-inch border along the same edge. Gently press the filling into the dough. Beginning with the opposite end from the border, roll the dough into a tight cylinder. Firmly pinch the seam to seal and roll the cylinder seam side down. Very gently squeeze the cylinder to create even thickness. Let rest.
In a medium saucepan, melt the butter. Once melted, slowly add the maple syrup. Stir to combine. Add in the brown sugar and slowly stir until dissolved. Mix in pecans and allow to cool slightly. Pour into the bottom of your greased 9” round pan.
Using a serrated knife, slice the cylinder into 5 equal rolls. Arrange rolls in the baking dish. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and store in the refrigerator overnight.
Remove the rolls from the refrigerator and place in an oven that is turned off. Fill a shallow pan 2/3-full of boiling water and set on the rack below the rolls. Close the oven door and let the rolls rise until they look slightly puffy; approximately 30 minutes.
Remove the rolls and the shallow pan of water from the oven.
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
When the oven is ready, place the rolls on the middle rack (you may want to put a baking sheet underneath. Maple Carmel is kind of hard to clean off the bottom of an oven if it boils over) and bake until golden brown, Approximately 30 to 40 minutes.
Allow to cool for 15min. Cover with a large plate and carefully and quickly flip out onto.
My thoughts
The dough is a slightly modified version of Alton Browns Overnight Cinnamon Rolls. For my money, this is the best dough out there for this application.
This is a tough battle. Both are made the night before, so mornings do not require a lot of thought. The maple pecan rolls are so sticky and delicious. However, baking the cinnamon rolls in the muffin tins allow them to open up on the top. When you spoon the frosting over the top, it runs down inside.
This gives nice, even distribution.
The cinnamon rolls travel better if you are sending them off with someone. However the maple pecan rolls heat up every bit as good.
Tough choices.
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