Chinese Restaurant Sweet Rolls

A Joke

My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. Shortly after we were seated, the elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places. Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair.

"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."

The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Very beautiful," he said politely. "Ivory."

The Recipe

Dough

1 packet active dry yeast

1 Tbsp honey

1 / 4 cup filtered water

1 cup heavy cream or whole milk

3 Tbsp canola oil

1 egg

4 1 / 4 cup all-purpose flour

1 / 2 kosher salt

3 Tbsp sugar

2 Tbsp baking powder

Glaze

1 egg

2 Tbsp sugar

1 Tbsp water

Combine honey and the filtered water. Microwave for 15 seconds (you are looking for it to be slightly warm.) Stir in the yeast and let rest till the yeast blooms.

Wisk to combine the oil, egg and milk. Stir in the yeast mixture.

In a separate large bowl combine flour, salt and sugar. Add the liquids and stir till a ball forms. Knead for 3-5 min. This is very soft dough and sticky dough. Restrain yourself from adding any extra flour. Place in an oiled bowl and let rise till it doubles. Give it about 2 hrs.

Sprinkle the baking powder over your work surface. Use it in place of flour. Remove the dough and knead in the baking powder. 3 min should do.

Line a 9-inch square pan with parchment paper. Form into 9 balls and place in the pan in 3 rows of 3. You want them to just touch. Let rise till double. Give it about 30 min.

Preheat your oven to 350.

Wisk together the egg, sugar and salt. Brush over the top of the dough right before it goes in the oven.

Bake for 25 min of until they are golden brown on top.

My Thoughts

The Chinese restaurant in the town I grew up in had the best dinner rolls. These are about as close to those as I have ever been able to duplicate. A soft roll that is subtly sweet and creamy. Make extra because they are even better warmed up the next day.

Almond Lemon-Limeade

A Joke

A very wealthy lawyer retreated for several weeks each year to his summer home in the backwoods of Maine. Every summer, he would invite one friend or another to stay with him there for a week or two. One summer he invited a Czechoslovakian friend to visit him. The friend, happy to get anything free from a lawyer, eagerly agreed. When the time came, they spent a wonderful time, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors.

One morning, as the lawyer and his Czechoslovakian friend were picking raspberries and blueberries for their breakfast, they were approached by two huge bears~~a male and a female. The lawyer noticed them in time to run for cover. His friend, however, was not so lucky. The male bear reached him and swallowed him whole. Seeing this, the lawyer ran back to his Mercedes and raced for the nearest town to get the local sheriff.

The sheriff grabbed his high~powered rifle and raced back to the berry area with the lawyer. All the while, he was plagued by visions of lawsuit from his friend's family. He just had to save his friend. Luckily, the bears were still there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male. The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for?!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!" "Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?"

The Recipe

Almond Lemon-Limeade

3 / 4 cup sugar

1 / 4 cup honey

4 to 5 cups filtered water

1 cup lemon and lime juice. (Approximately 2 each)

lemon and lime slices

1 / 4 tsp almond extract

Start by making simple syrup. Heat the sugar, honey and 1 cup of water in a small saucepan until the syrup goes clear and the sugar is dissolved. Cool completely and add almond extract, lemon and limes slices and the juice. Refrigerate.

When ready to serve, dilute by adding the remaining 3 to 4 cups of cold water and ice.

My Thoughts

Nothing says summer better then lemonade. This is a nice twist to a classic. The addition of lime gives an additional punch of flavor and color, while the honey and almond round out the tartness with some earthy undertones.

As syrup, this will keep in the refrigerator for about a week. Anything that can be made ahead of time is all right in my book.

If you are serving at a party and it may sit out for a while, make another batch ahead of time and freeze into ice cups. This will stop it from getting watered down from the ice melting. Watered down lemonade is the worst! Or, drop one into a gin and tonic. Very, very nice.

Sesame Ginger Lime Tuna Steak

A joke

Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the gambling casino?

Because he was on a roll.

The Recipe

Sesame Ginger Lime Tuna Steak

4 Tuna steaks

2 tbsp sesame seeds

Sesame Ginger Lime Marinade

Juice of 2 limes

1 tbsp olive oil

2 tbsp toasted sesame oil

1 tbsp candied (or crystallized) ginger

1 tbsp honey

2 tbsp soy sauce

1 tbsp Aleppo pepper

Pulse all marinade ingredients in food processor to combine. Add marinade to the tuna steaks in a large zip top bag. Get as much air out as possible and set in the refrigerator. Marinate for one hour for every half inch of the tuna’s thickness.

Spread the sesame seeds out on a large plate. Remove tuna from marinade and place on sesame seeds. Flip to coat.

Grill over very high heat to bring out the sesame flavor. You are looking for a nice sear. Approximately 2 to 4 minutes per side.

My Thoughts

This is a great way to add some summer flavor to the grill. Served on a toasted sesame seed bun with a great beer (say, Bell’s Oberon) and some grilled asparagus and bell pepper. This is a little slice of heaven.

I always use crystallized (or candied) ginger in my brines and marinades. The sugar balances the flavor. If you swap it for fresh ginger, you are going to want to up the honey to compensate. I also like Aleppo pepper. It has a nice tart punch of spice with little after burn. It you do not have any available, crushed red pepper works well, too.

Spaghetti O’s with Black Truffle and Sliced Franks

This nice earthy dish is an affordable way to celebrate Poisson d'Avril and welcome the birth of April.

Spaghetti O’s with Black Truffle and Sliced Franks

2 14.75 ounce cans Campbell’s Spaghetti O’s with Sliced Franks

1 tbsp fresh shaved black truffles*

1 tsp fresh chopped tarragon

1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

1 pinch fresh ground black pepper

Open cans of Spaghetti O’s and add along with the other ingredients to a large sauce pot. Heat, stirring occasionally.

Serve garnished with fresh tarragon and a nice glass of an old burgundy wine. A 2001 Pierre Usseglio CDP Deux Freres would be nice.

I hope this is the perfect addition to your April Fools Day.

*NOTE: You always want to maximize the truffle flavor, using the least amount of the ingredient as possible. So always slice into paper-thin wedges or strips. Use a truffle shaver (similar to a cheese grater) when shaving truffles.

Shortcake with Vanilla Whipped Cream and Berries

A Joke

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

The Recipe

Shortcake

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup cake flour

4 tsp baking powder

1 tsp kosher salt

1 / 2 cup sugar + extra for topping

2 tbsp shortening

2 tbsp unsalted butter + 1 for topping

1 cup heavy cream

Preheat the oven to 450.

In a large metal mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder and salt. Add butter and shortening, do not mix, and set this and a fork in the freezer for half an hour.

Cut the butter and shortening into the flour mixture with the frozen fork. Make a well in the middle of the flour mixture and pour in the heavy cream. Using a spatula, fold the cream into the flour until the dough just comes together.

Turn the dough out onto a floured surface. Fold the dough into itself a few times then pat the dough out till it is about 3 /4 of a inch thick. Using a 3” biscuit cutter, portion the shortcakes.

Remove to a parchment lined sheet pan. You will want to set them so the are gently touching sides. Brush the tops with melted butter and sprinkle with sugar. Bake at 450 for 10 to 15 min or until golden brown.

Split and top the bottom with berries and whipped cream. Place the top back on and repeat.

Vanilla Bean Whipped Cream

2 cups heavy cream

1 vanilla bean

1 / 3 cup sugar

Measure the cream into a medium size metal mixing bowl. Cut vanilla bean in half lengthwise and scrape most of the seeds into cream. Wisk the mixture to combine then set in the fridge for 2 to 3 hours.

Measure the sugar into a small zip top bag and add the vanilla bean and remaining seeds to the sugar. Seal the bag and rub the mixture together then set aside.

After the allotted time has passed, remove the vanilla bean from the sugar. Mix the cream on low while slowly adding the sugar. Once the sugar is added increase the speed to med-high and mix until stiff peaks are formed.

Berries

3 pints berries (whatever looks good)

1 /2 cup sugar

Wash Berries and slice the strawberries if there are any. Toss them with 1/2 cup of white sugar. Set aside. This is best done the day before. That will give the berries time to develop a nice syrup.

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Homemade Pasta Dough

Italian Pasta Diet...

1. You walka pasta da bakery.
2. You walka pasta da candy store.
3. You walka pasta da ice cream shop.
4. You walka pasta da table and fridge.

Homemade Pasta Dough

4 Cups Flour (500 Grams)

4 Eggs

1 Tsp Kosher Salt

Measure the flour and salt into a large mixing bowl, make a hole in the center and drop the eggs into it. Using a fork, wisk the eggs slowly into the flour. If the dough is too dry add a little water, if it is too wet add some flour.

Remove the dough from the bowl to a slightly floured surface. Knead the dough until you have achieved smooth dough. The goal is smooth dough that does not stick to your fingers.

Cut off about 1/8 of the dough and cover the rest with a damp towel.

It does not matter if you are using a pasta machine or hand rolling from this point on. The same basic steps are involved.

You will want to roll out the dough using the #1 setting on your machine or to about a ¼ an inch, lightly flour if necessary, fold over and repeat 6 to 8 times.

After this, you can roll the dough to your desired thickness and cut.

Boil right away or dry on a cooling rack and store in a zip top bag for up to a week.